The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
