my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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