bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
