apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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