Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
