I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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