I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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