East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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