WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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