Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize