he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
