Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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