Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
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U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
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