Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
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She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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