Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
