He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
