it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
