there's paper in my vomit.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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