Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?