I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.