she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
