if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
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He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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