You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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