Define "chronic" masturbator.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
