Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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