need another drink. this is the easiest way
sarcasm needs its own font
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
