I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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