My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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