You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just forgot I was standing up.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize