Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
