I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
