Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
