Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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