Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
do nipples grow back?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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