I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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