I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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