just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
