I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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