Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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