pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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