Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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