He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize