had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
