You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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