Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
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No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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