I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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