That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
