that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
