Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
