my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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