that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
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You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
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I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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