i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
