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her vagine was all disorganized.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
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