There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.