wat bout pragnant strippers??
and she was petting her beer can
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home