Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.