i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
When are your genitals available?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
