I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
