He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
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We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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