The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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