Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
