And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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