dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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