Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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