so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
