Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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